This debut novel, which won the 2020 Acheven Book Prize for Young Adult Fiction, is a heartfelt and sympathetic portrayal of an all-too-dangerous experience for many gay youth, the fraught negotiation of early romantic interest. Though marketed as young-adult fiction, The Complicated Calculus (And Cows) of Carl Paulsen explores themes that will interest readers of all ages.
Like so many other high schoolers, the Carl Paulsen of the title is socially awkward. Carl lives on his family’s struggling dairy farm in the remote Minnesota town of Fullerton, population 2,076. Carl’s father, despite having been an English teacher, is not a good communicator, and Carl’s mother is two years dead. Carl has no role model to help him live the life he wants, so he keeps his head down and waits. When the other boys at school suspect him of being gay, he neither confirms nor denies it.
Then a new boy, Andy Olnan, comes to town, opening a new chapter in Carl’s life. Andy is friendly, and Carl is smitten.
From the start of the novel, Carl knows that he is gay: “But what other choice did I have? This was it. This was me.” But the question that consumes him throughout is whether Andy is gay as well.
As Carl continues to face bullying from other students, some of whom call him a “faggot,” Andy intercedes on his behalf. And the two boys become friends, talking on the phone nightly and inviting each over for dinner. For much of this time, questions about the possibility of a romantic relationship with Andy run through Carl’s mind: “I spend the rest of the ride thinking about what it would be like to go off the deep end for someone, especially someone who may not even be interested in another boy, and I realize I already have.”
Eventually, Carl believes that his feelings are being reciprocated. But he questions that belief when Andy no longer wants to talk to him over the phone and starts to ignore him at school. Their friendship has surfaced uncomfortable truths, and Andy doesn’t want to admit to those truths.
Coming out while coming of age is the central issue in The Complicated Calculus (And Cows) of Carl Paulsen. Another important strand is the rural American family in financial precarity and social isolation. Carl’s father regrets not having purchased land for crops, so the family must rely solely on the income from a small herd of dairy cows, which require constant care. The word “chore” appears in the novel more than fifty times, and Carl is tied to the farm to perform these daily tasks. Carl’s father, although liberal and likely supportive of a gay son, chooses to see what he wants to see. Carl’s father is also suspicious of technology and against what he considers wasteful spending, so Carl has neither a cell phone nor computer.
In addition to exploring the (unfortunately) all-too-common problems of social isolation, teenage awkwardness, school bullying, and financial insecurity, the novel thoughtfully portrays an experience that for years has received far too little attention: the unique challenge of making one’s way in the world as a gay youth. I’m reminded of the response of critic Daniel Mendelsohn in The New York Review of Books to reviewers who praised the film “Brokeback Mountain” for having a “universal” romantic appeal. Instead, Mendelsohn countered, the film is “a tragedy about the specifically gay phenomenon of the ‘closet’–about the disastrous emotional and moral consequences of erotic self-repression and of the social intolerance that first causes and then exacerbates it.”
Shortly after meeting Andy, Carl wonders to himself about the possibility of romantic love between the two of them. At the same time, he thinks of Andy as “a secret I want to keep all to myself, even though I know that makes me a secret too.” And so Carl continues to live, for now, in the closet. This brings us to the “Complicated Calculus” of the title: Typically, to describe someone as calculating is to call them scheming and ruthless, and that is not a compliment. But in Carl’s case, as for so many gay youth, calculating is a daily act of self-preservation. A 2015 CDC study indicates that 34% of LGBT students were bullied at school that year, versus 19% of students overall. Such threats loom over Carl, as dramatized by bullying he faces from other students, at least one of whom, Carl suspects, is also gay.
The questions Carl asks himself throughout the novel are attempts to figure out his place, and to guard his safety, in the world. Who knows? Who suspects? Is he? Would he? What if? Such calculations reflect the serious risks he faces: not just a metaphorically broken heart but, possibly, literally broken bones.
While Carl is a sympathetic figure, the author is careful to keep him grounded in the real world. He has no superpowers; instead, he’s an ordinary kid negotiating a difficult situation as best he can, and doing a pretty good job at it. This thoughtful, reflective novel has us rooting for him all along.
Would My Pick be Your Pick?
If you're interested in ________, the answer may be "Yes":￭ Coming-of-age stories
￭ LGBTQ issues
￭ Rural life
